What is your Identity Marker?

I was browsing through blogs and I remembered I wrote something for my European Languages 50 (European culture and civilizations) class and so I thought maybe you'd want to read it? :)

The topic is "What is your identity marker?" or what language are you associated with, the language of your youth.

Well, here it is. Enjoy! :)

My Identity

Through Non-existent Eyes

             For anyone in front of the building, the afternoon would probably prove to be a normal one. With the passing vehicles and the people walking past – yes, there was nothing amiss. Most would say that it’s so usual that it’s almost boring, certainly not worth pondering about.

These people could be right in thinking that way too, except that they failed to notice the way a certain female student or professor for that matter (in this place, you can never be certain because they don’t have uniforms and some professors are young and fashion conscious), smiled like she remembered something good or that the weather was gorgeous – the sun barely seeping through loosely intertwined branches of the acacias lining both side of the street.

No, it’s not their fault. When they are burdened with so many things such as Acads (what seems to be the official term for school work around here), organization works, finances and many others, they think it’s hard or even wrong to stop and stay still. Also, when they’ve been through many disappointments, failures or mistakes, the rose-colored glasses they view the world through shatters and are replaced by a jaded eye.

But I am not like them. I have been at a standstill for many years now. How long has it been again? 20 years? Maybe more? I don’t even remember. Time has no meaning to me. I count my days with the students, professors and occasional outsiders getting on or off the jeepneys, taxis or private cars, or people walking or running past me to get through their destination (maybe to their next class). I count my night with the joggers sweating and huffing from all the jogging or running.

From the first day I was here and until this very moment, I have never left my post and I plan to stay this way for as long as my sinewy arms and legs can support my head as I shield the people from the elements – the harsh glare of the sun or the piercing dash of rain.

Do you know me now? Perhaps you do so there is no reason for me to reveal myself blatantly. After all, I’ve often heard that people are smart.

But even as I am now, my eyes non-existent, I see far greater than the average person. I laugh at the bright orange taxi that seemed so out of place among its white brothers, the hope-filled eyes of a young student (a freshman) inspires me and I feel the love as if it was my own when a couple walked past, holding hands and laughing all the while.

I had also noticed the sadness behind the smile of a person, the dejected way someone walked (my guess is that he flunked an exam or got scolded by a terror professor), and even the impatient tap of the girl’s foot on the floor as she kept looking at her cellphone. It doesn’t take a genius to know that she’s waiting for a reply or a call. Occasionally, there would be those who seemed to be angry at someone – their foreheads would be wrinkled with a frown.

Everyday is a new discovery. There will always be something new. And I would witness it again. Someday, I hope you see things the way I see it. The world is not cut out in black and white. There are many vibrant colors competing for your attention. Why don’t you try noticing them? And if you ever need a reminder, I’ll always be here, looking at you…through non-existent eyes.

*note: The topic for this is "Faculty Center Waiting Shed in UP Diliman"

The Echo Room

     Along the corridors of the building, the soft patter and squeak of shoes as steps were made onto the hard floor vibrates from one place to another. You could feel it if you were sitting on the floor and you could distinguish what kind of shoes made that particular vibration. Heeled shoes would create more of a pang of vibration while flip-flops would be more 'squeaky'.
     To add to that, there are also the conversations being made by people hurrying to their destination or just loitering around. More often than not, they won't be too quiet. In fact, if you stay still in one corner, you'd actually catch some of the things they are talking about.
     "When was the speech again?"
     "Ang hirap ng exam!"
     "Au revoir!"
     But in this place where I am right now, all these noises cease to be makes sense. They all merges and twists into faint, indistinct hums.
     I could hear nothing but the roar of metals turning and turning fast to generate wind, the occasional sighs and murmurs, the crisp, crunching sound of paper fluttered by soft air, and my quavering voice - all these heightened and reflected, as if I am on top of the mountain or on the bottom of a well.
    Where am I exactly? I am in the Echo Room.
    If you ask other people, some of my friends or even some of my classmates, they won't be able to show you the direction to this room because they won't know what you're talking about or maybe they will but the thing is, no one will be certain about it.
     The echo room is something I came up with for this place. Yes, the Echo Room is not it's real name. And basically, it's not a mysterious fortress nor is it remotely similar to that. The Echo Room is a simple classroom - four walls, chairs, white board, the works.
    What makes it different is that when you are sensitive enough, you would notice that whatever you say in this place echoes. It's as if, there is this invisible person with a low, deep voice that repeats whatever you say in a much quieter fashion.
    Right now, that person is here again, stealing my words right after I utter them. He is listening intently, not missing anything. I'm sure he could hear the thundering of my heartbeat, considering how fast and loud it seems to be, attempting to slam right out of my chest, but he does not copy it. At least, my heartbeat is my own.
    Right now, I am uncomfortable. All eyes are on me already, I don't need the added pressure. But strange... I seem to draw comfort from that echo... hearing my own voice reflected calms me.
    Before long, the echo that is heard in the room is no longer my own. It is no longer the same but still strangely familiar.
    As I leave the room, I glance back and whisper and I hear the same words back at me and I smile because I know that we would meet again...in the Echo Room...


*Note: This is based on my Communication 3 (Practical Speech Fundamentals) class. I thought of this while listening to my other classmates deliver their speech.

When Glam met Glitz

                It started from a childhood tales of princesses in corset gowns and towering but impressive castles… continued with exposure to what society calls as finer things in life – fine dining, meeting high-class people, going to beautiful (but otherwise expensive) places… sparked by curiosity because of the talks about it…

                

                And finally that night – December 23, 2011, 43 days after my real birthday, after months of preparation and weeks of panic-stricken last-minute changes, I finally had the Debut I had long dreamt of.

               Nothing could compare to that feeling I had when the doors opened to reveal the Sydney hotel convention hall transformed into an enchanting place – an array of sparkling decors and glass displays that all lent the room an air of elegance and grandeur.

With my pink princess-style ball gown, the dramatic effect of the fog rising, the white and red rose petals scattered on the floor and on the tables, and the sea of familiar people whose eyes were all on me as I made my entrance (my trembling hands supported by my cousin Kuya Mhel’s arm), I couldn’t help but think that surely I must be dreaming because that scene seemed so surreal, like the stuff fairytales were made of.

But the nervous thundering, almost painful beat of my heart told me I was indeed awake and that everything was real. I loved and savored every second of it.

Aided by the competent hosting of my good friends and high school classmates Shyn Ebol and Zaniel (Zanny) Barluado, the program went on smoothly.

My Lola gave the welcoming speech followed by an intermission number by TOP TEEN – a boy group formed by some of my high school batchmates. It was nostalgic to see them dancing KPOP (when we were in High School, they often performed during every event imaginable). I enjoyed watching them dance. They were the same guys I knew in high school but somehow they were different. Maybe because they were older now so they seemed more like ‘gentlemen’ than ‘boys’ or maybe it’s just their suits. XD

After their fantastic and if I may say so, greatly improved (they were much better in dancing now than when we were in high school) performance, it was time to satisfy our growling tummies.

Just as I predicted, the dessert made by my cousin Ate Xy-za was a best-seller. I remember that everyone from my high school batch loved eating the Mango Float I often bring during school events (Christmas party, family day etc.) and based on their reaction when plates of it were placed on each table, they still do.

During dinner, I went around the room, entertaining guests, talking to my close friends, and every now and then, posing for pictures.

A photographer from Montage immortalized the whole event by taking photos.

After dinner, Shyn and Zanny started the Parlor Games to allow me time to change into another outfit – the regal, violet-colored, long gown with cloth that sparkled when light hit it. My hair was swept up and adorned with gem-like hair pins.

This was the gown I wore during my dance with my 18 roses. First dance goes to my Dad of course, followed by my Tito JunJun, my Ninong Dondon and then my high school batchmates Ace, Roman, Kit, James, Daniel, Benedict, Massy, Billy, Darmy, Peter, Joachim, Zanny, Fernnie and Leniel. My last dance was with my only older male cousin Kuya Mhel.

Dancing with my Dad

Dance with Tito Junjun

Dance with Tito Dondon

w/ Ace

w/ Roman

w/ Kit

w/ James

w/ Daniel

w/ Benedict

w/ Massy

w/ Billy

w/ Darmy

w/ Peter

w/ Joachim

w/ Zanny

w/ Fernnie

w/ Leniel

w/ Kuya Mhel

After that, another intermission number was performed by CORNER BOYZ (I told you, my batchmates LOVE dancing. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that). 

Even my Mommy (Tita Cosette) who saw some of their performances back in high school, told me that the group had indeed improved throughout the years. I agreed with her. Their moves now are more fluid, more polished and their boyish charm back in high school was replaced with a more mature but still captivating aura. But of course, Corner Boyz will be Corner Boyz - they were a bit unorganized and a tad too hyper during their dance. XD

After that, everyone sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY accompanied by the band.

After I blew the candles (I was short of breath after blowing 18 of them!), it’s time for the 18 treasures.

My 18 treasures are as follows:

            

            

          

        Tita Jiji

              Tito Dondon

                Tito Paris

               Zanny

                      
                       Shyn

                   Arej

                Darrel

            Mabelle

                Camella

          Precy/"Patz"

Coleen/"Crazy Friend"

                     Ava

   Donna/"Windang"

       Maricar/"Partz"

          Haizel/"VG"

        Kristine/"Lukaret"

          Aimee/"Sis"

   (My bestfriend cried while saying her message to me)

Char (The Chars weren't able to come but they sent video greetings and I watched it during the program)

  Dayan/"Vain"

I gave my thank you speech then. It was an impromptu speech but it came from the bottom of my heart. I acknowledged God’s faithfulness in my life then thanked my parents, my second mothers – my Nanay (Tita Beth), my Mommy (Tita Cosette) and my Tita Christie, and also my Lola and my Tito Junjun for working together for me to be able to have such a grand debut. More than that, I am grateful that during these 18 years, they never failed to make me feel loved and secure. Of course, I also thanked my guests - our relatives and family friends who came despite telling them at such short notice, Tita Jiji and Tito Oliver who stayed during the whole event and who gave such a charming gift (a limited edition Anne Klein watch) *squeals in delight*, my Ninongs (who knew me since I was young and gave me what I wanted most to receive – books) and my parent’s friends, and of course, my high school batchmates and friends, who I’m quite proud to say, fitted quite well with the place with their glamorous attires. I don’t remember all the details of my speech but maybe sometime I’ll post it here in the blog too (my mom documented it by taking a video while I was speaking).

Before the program officially came to an end, I gave the stage to my batchmates and friends – the CENTER GIRLS whose group were again, formed in high school. I remember I used to help these girls with their make-ups and stuff, Now they are all alluring ladies but still had the same heart for KPOP – as they proved to us while they danced to the tune of SNSD’s songs.

Finally, it was time to PARTEEEEEEY!!!

With the band playing lively songs and the disco lights, everyone got up on their feet and danced (yes, including me although I don’t usually dance).

I really had a wonderful time that night – especially during the last part of the party where I get to fool around, laugh my heart out and just be myself with my friends. That night, the years we spent apart from each other, the different school we are in college and the obligations we had yet to finish (projects, holiday homeworks, exams etc.) were left behind and forgotten.

That night we were trapped in a standstill and for me nothing else matters but that one magical moment when Glam met Glitz…